News

A ‘listening ear’ for grieving loved ones

02 June 2009

The death of a loved one is always difficult to cope with, but thanks to St Helena Hospice help is at hand.

Its bereavement service offers a non-judgemental “listening ear” and starts about six weeks after the person has died.

It is just one of the ways the hospice, which is holding its first awareness week, can help.

Heather Gregory, head of the bereavement service, said: “We usually make contact with the person about three weeks after, just to give them information about being bereaved and where to go for help. “Then after about six weeks we’ll give them a ring to see how they are and see if they want any help.
“Some people only want to be contacted by phone and some people want to meet face-to-face.
“sometimes it’s easier for people to have the anonymity of the phone. They can of course, opt not to have the service.”

People are referred into the service either from the inpatient unit or by palliative care nurses in the community.
A team of volunteers operate the service in Colchester and Tendring, holding drop-in meetings once a month in both areas.
She said: “Our volunteers are absolutely amazing, because they’ve made such a huge commitment.
“They give up so much time because, between all the telephone calls and visits, they also have to undergo training and supervision.
“Some of them have been with us for 10 or 15 years and they are so dedicated.”
One of the aims of the service is to help bereaved people to face the world again socially, and make new friends to help them cope with their loss.
“When we hold our support groups it’s a good opportunity for people to make new friends and swap advice.” said Mrs Gregory.
“Often the men are looking for advice on cooking and the women need help with things like DIY.
“We even started a cooking club to help people get used to cooking for one, because often they don’t know how.
“Often they feel isolated because they may have given up work to look after the person, and they need to make links with the outside world.”

The service contacts about 1,200 bereaved people a year and in the past couple of years it has held about 1,500 counselling sessions.
While it is there to listen, it does not offer counselling.
She said: “It can be difficult speaking to someone about how you feel and often people don’t want to be a burden to their family.
“What our volunteers offer is a listening ear and reassurance that they are OK and there’s nothing wrong with grieving.”

Lynne Milford, Colchester Gazette, Tuesday 2nd June 2009